Where to Get Naked in Miami: The 5 Best Hotels for Tanning Topless

by admin on October 30, 2009

It wasn’t too long ago that the Standard Hotel in New York City threw some naked people in front of their giant windows and ignited a firestorm of silly newspaper stories about a “Manhattan Sex Hotel” (a title, by the way, that would be more appropriately given to other establishments) — but if nakey-time is your thing, head South to a city that will respond to your nudity with less scrutiny, fewer gawking tourists, and the understanding that the perfect tan requires a little extra exposure.

So, in which US city are the hotels known to welcome the topless tanners? Miami. Duh.

The Standard Hotel Miami's saltwater pool

The Standard Hotel Miami's saltwater pool

The Standard. Topping our list of the Best Hotels to Go Topless in Miami is the Standard NYC’s big brother, the Standard Miami. Considering the weekly party nights featuring promos like ladies and “bottoms” drink free, the pleasantly raunchy pool scene, and the coed sauna, your toplessness ain’t no thang here.

Hotel Victor, rimless pool

Hotel Victor, rimless pool

Hotel Victor. The Hotel Victor’s spa has a coed steam room and a clothing-optional Turkish hammam. Or you can just strip down across the street on South Beach, where topless sunbathing is not only legal but also socially acceptable.

Gansevoor South, Plunge pool

Gansevoort South, Plunge pool

Gansevoort South. Want to get high and get naked? Er, high up, that is: Gansevoort South’s scene-y rooftop pool totally allows topless sunbathing 17 stories above the ground.

The Delano Hotel's pool scene

The Delano Hotel's pool scene

The Delano. The trendy pool scene is open to sunbathing with no bikini top during the day. Put your top back on at night, though, and find someone to take it off for you — but you’ve gotta do that kind of thing upstairs after dark.

Keep on walkin' past Newport Beachside's beach

Keep on walkin' past Newport Beachside's beach

Newport Beachside Hotel and Resort. Alright, so this is more of a family establishment than the rest of the hotels on this list, but this hotel is close to Haulover Beach — the only truly nude beach in Miami. It’s about a half mile down the shore from Newport’s own beach — you can reward yourself for the long walk by taking off your top when you reach your destination.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

mary and roberto May 25, 2011 at 8:49 pm

we went to the rooftop hotel in hollywood florida to layout naked and we were very disappointed. the couples were all old as dirt and fat and overweight. the place had an abundance of old men masturbating around the pool. there were filled garbage cans and condoms all around the pool and on the lounge chairs. the place was had cockroaches, ants and mosquitos. then we saw a rat run across the atrium! crazy! the only person we saw having fun was the overweight wife in the sex room getting gangbanged by some old men and a black guy. the cuckold hubby was sitting on the side wacking his chicken. just not our thing. be advised this resort is a total dive.

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