The crash heard round the world, news broke last week that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are yet another celebrity couple headed to Splitsville. Whispers of Scientology schooling for Suri and Cruise’s sexual preference are swirling around the couple’s split, but we here at Oyster are focused more on the duo’s recuperation than the he-said-she-said of it all. A divorcee getaway is in order here — STAT! — and we have the perfect places for Tom and Katie to lay low (separately of course), lick their wounds, and put on a brave face for the public.
Oyster Picks for Katie
The Getaway: Back to Basics — Revisiting Dawson’s Creek
The Hideaway: The Ocean House — Watch Hill, Rhode Island
Katie spent a few good years filming popular teen drama Dawson’s Creek. The show may have been set in the fictional Massachusetts town, but The Ocean House — in real-life Watch Hill, Rhode Island – exudes Capeside’s New England charm. Located on a private, white sand beach, the hotel is a great spot for a quiet getaway where Katie and Suri can enjoy the many on-site amenities. With two pools, a full-service spa, a large fitness center, and even a croquet lawn, The Ocean House is luxurious without being stuffy, and the town of Watch Hill is a quaint amalgamation of boutique shops and cafes for the girls to peruse during the day.
The Getaway: Mama Knows Best
The Hideaway: Four Seasons Resort Costa Rica at Peninsula Papagayo
Now, we know we have to take all of the stories we hear with a grain of salt. But, if there’s any truth to the rumors, Katie’s decision to split from Tom stems from his desire to enroll Suri in Sea Org, an intense Scientology schooling organization. So mother and daughter may need to hit up an international destination in order to delay Suri’s schooling and The Four Seasons Resort Costa Rica at Peninsula Papagayo would be the perfect spot. Mom will enjoy the remote location, in-room private plunge pool, and sumptuous amenities while Suri will love the two beautiful beaches, kid’s club, and extensive list of excursions, including horseback riding, hiking, and snorkeling.
The Getaway: Becoming “The Slutty Pumpkin”
The Hideaway: Tortuga Bay — Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
It’s time for Katie to let loose. As “The Slutty Pumpkin” on How I Met Your Mother, Katie bewitched protagonist Tim (for a while, at least) with her “risque” Halloween costume and forward approach. Why shouldn’t she pick up where her alter ego left off? She should hand Suri over to grandma and grandpa for the weekend, and head off to Oscar De La Renta’s exclusive property Tortuga Bay in the Dominican Republic. Katie can lounge on the beach, explore the on-site nature reserve, and do a little man-hunting as well. All suites and villas come with in-room Jacuzzis that are turned into private “love tubs” with rose petals and bubbles at night, perfect for some private romancing.
Oyster Picks For Tom
The Getaway: A Sexy Spot for a Man Who’s Still Got It
The Hideaway: Mandarin Oriental, Barcelona
Say what you will about Tom, the man is still sexy. Remember Top Gun? Mission Impossible (all four of them)? He may have ridden the crazy train all the way to Oprah’s couch and back, but that doesn’t detract (entirely) from the steamy scenes in which he’s starred. And so, we think Tom would do just great at the Mandarin Oriental, Barcelona. This sleek and, yes, sexy hotel offers spacious designer rooms, gorgeous city views, a luxe spa, and a Michelin-rated restaurant. Tom will feel right at home here and he deserves a break from filming his latest movie, Oblivion, in Reykjavik. Plus, if he decides shave off the proverbial beard (hey, no judgment here!), he may feel even more at home in the surrounding Eixample neighborhood, where Barcelona’s lively gay nightlife scene takes place.
The Getaway: Tropic Thunder-Esque Vacay
The Hideaway: Fowl Cay Resort — The Bahamas
If, however, Tom chooses to forgo the manscaping mentioned above (after all, those are just rumors), the Bahamas may be a solid option for him to prove — even if just to himself — that the ladies still do it for him. The Fowl Cay Resort, on its own private island, allows a maximum of 28 guests and features 50 acres and three beaches in absolute privacy. Each villa comes with a personal boat to take guests from one corner of the isle to the other and the attentive staff is always on hand to answer a guest’s any need. So Tom can scoot away solo or discreetly bring a special somebody along.