Last night’s episode of Hotel Impossible took us to the sunny shores of Fort Lauderdale, where resort owner Frank called for host Anthony Melchiorri’s help to revive his fledgling property, the Ocean Manor. We really loved this one — it scratched our OCD cleaning bug when Melchiorri found dust pretty much everywhere — and especially dug the soft palette designer Blanche Garcia implemented in the renovated rooms. (And the fact that she saved the hotel nearly a million dollars in upcoming construction, too!) Besides these typical but awesome tune-ups, we picked apart our favorite moments from Melchiorri’s stay at the Ocean Manor.
1. The cheap(ish) valet parking.
Listen, the Ocean Manor definitely had problems with its valet staff. Particularly the attitude of some. [Hey, Roger? We’re talking to you.] And even though how often one paid for parking was a bit confusing to guests, the resort, to be clear, charges $5/day for valet parking — the only option. While that may seem kind of pricey, think about if you were staying in a major metropolis like San Francisco, where valet rates can spike above $50 per day.
2. “I don’t speak English, I’m from Brooklyn.”
What up Anthony! As a staff full of Brooklynites, Oyster has a lot of love for the coolest borough in New York. And since the Hotel Impossible host has a snarky ‘tude with the brains to back it up, we’re proud to say we speak Brooklyn too. Shout out to Greenpoint!
3. Calling out the Ocean Manor on its metal keys…
I mean, do I even need to address this? When was the last time anyone used anything but a electronic key card at a hotel? Anthony even told the hotel owner, Frank, that all upscale properties have been using the so-called “modern technology” for over 30 years now. Errr, Frank? Time to jump on the key card bandwagon.
4. …but giving the resort kudos for its killer views.
We’ll give a property credit when we see it: The hotels’ sweeping vistas of the Atlantic Ocean are some of the nicest we’ve seen anywhere in the world. The mere fact that Ocean Manor was charging under $200 for some of the nicest beach views Florida has to offer is practically insane. After the renovation, Anthony let the Ocean Manor team know that some of its top rooms — like this one — can go for around $600 per night.
5. The maid with the headphones. You know, the one talking on her cell phone. And using a clean towel to wipe her mouth.
We just hope she’s no longer with the hotel.