Couples getaways can be great. But, unfortunately, they can feel more like a job if you’re bringing a needy girlfriend along. No judgement here; we get that you love your girlfriend, but a few hours of peace and quiet will allow you to fully soak up the benefits of a vacation. This is where we, as Oyster.com hotel experts, come in to help. While we don’t have direct experience with handling a needy girlfriend, we may have been that girl once or twice. (Is wanting your boyfriend to be hyper-attentive soo much to ask?? But we digress…) So who better than us to give you the low-down on the most distractable hotels and amenities? We may be committing a major breach of girl code, but here goes. Check out our top 5 hotels for distracting a needy girlfriend — and enjoy your 5-minutes peace!
Girlfriend Type: Shopaholic
Why It’ll Distract Her: If your needy girlfriend is shopping-inclined, then you’re guaranteed some alone time at the Atlantis. With more features than any other hotel in the Caribbean, the resort has over 100 shops; everything from Atlantis logo stores, stuffed with t-shirts, bags, and hats, to high-end designer shops like Salvatore Ferragamo and Bvlgari. Hey, we didn’t say this would be cheap.
Alone Time It Earns You: We’d say at least three hours. If you lend her your credit card for the afternoon, that grants you two more (and probably some debt to boot). Use your alone time to win that money back at the elaborate casino. Or check out the dolphin show; it’s pretty awesome.
Hotel: Hilton Hawaiian Village; Honolulu, HI
Girlfriend Type: Directionally Challenged
Why It’ll Distract Her: The largest resort in Hawaii at 22 acres, the Hilton is a veritable village, with five towers, five pools, 20 bars and restaurants, 90 shops, and a separate lagoon.The crowds can get big and the lines long, which is perfect for you. You may fight over directions in the car but this is where your girlfriend’s inability to navigate works to your benefit. Slip away for just a second, and she’ll be wandering the vast resort looking for you, getting more confused by the second.
The Hotel: Conrad Hotel; Miami, FL
Girlfriend Type: Little Miss
Why It’ll Distract Her: The Conrad Hotel features a large, beautiful spa on the 24th floor. If your girlfriend likes to be spoiled (or if she’s just super-stressed at the thought of you ever leaving her — hey, she’s needy after all), send her off to the spa where she can indulge in everything from massages to “chocolate and champagne” mani/pedis.
Alone Time It Earns You: Depends. If you treat her to the basic Swedish massage, it’ll give you less than an hour. Splurge on the Spa Day Package, and you’ll get a full four and a half hours all to youself. Fit in a round of tennis with the pro before relaxing by the sexy rooftop pool.
Girlfriend Type: Money Hungry
Why It’ll Distract Her: People who love money (and the thrill of gambling for it) swarm to Vegas for the casinos. And everyone knows that once you’re in one, you could be there for hours. The Venetian casino boasts endless rows of slots machines, marble floors, frescoed ceilings, and a busy room dedicated to poker. Drop your girlfriend off at a blackjack table and who knows when you’ll see her next.
Alone Time It Earns You: Indefinite. If she’s winning, she’ll be on a high and will never want to stop. If she’s losing, she’ll be desperately trying to win back her money and break even. Use this time to explore the grandeur of the hotel. Take a gondola ride, check out Madame Tussauds, or climb the rock-climbing wall; the Venetian is your oyster (sorry, we couldn’t help ourselves).
Hotel: Canyon Ranch; Tucson, AZ
Girlfriend Type: Active
Why It’ll Distract Her: If your girlfriend’s the active type, she’ll love the Canyon Ranch in Tucson and will get totally caught up in it’s many offerings; each day there are over 40 programs, activities, and fitness classes (like yoga and cycling) aimed at helping guests maintain a healthy lifestyle. Guests can enjoy outdoor activities such as tennis, racquetball, and guided hikes as well.
Alone Time It Earns You: Two hours. While she’s off on a nature hike (convince her that you won’t be able to keep up — her active side will beat out her needy side and she’ll leave you behind), work on your swing at the indoor driving range, test your balance at the super-cool ropes course, or head to the spa — pampering isn’t just for ladies.