Hotels (And Their Guests) That Need to Make New Year’s Resolutions

by Jane Reynolds on December 29, 2011

Santa may have thought you were nice this year, but there were probably a few things he didn’t see… So enter New Year’s resolutions — the pledges we make for the new year to atone for our sins of the year before. Maybe you told a few white lies, partied a little too hard, or claimed that Justin Bieber was your baby daddy (actually, we think that may have just been her). But that’s all in the past starting in 2012, the year that’s going to be the best ever! Not only have we started working on our own resolutions, but we’ve come up with a few for some hotels and their wild, raucous — and sometimes home-wrecking — guests. Below, check out our resolutions list that’ll set these hotels (and their notorious guests) on the straight and narrow.

AP Photo/Pool/startraksphoto.com

AP Photo/Pool/startraksphoto.com

For Lindsay Lohan at the Chateau Marmont (many, many times): Resist partying it up when you’re on probation.

Lindsay’s had some trouble with the law this year (and the year before that…and the year before that…). In November, she served a four-and-a-half-hour jail stint (better than the 30-day sentence!) for violating her probation. Yet only a couple of weeks later, this party girl was seen making an a.m. dash from the Chateau Marmont in the same outfit she wore the night before! Sources say she can often be spotted late-night at the hotel bar, where witnesses once saw her stumbling to the point of requiring assistance from hotel security. Hopefully she’ll be able to get together for 2012 — we miss the adorable Linds from The Parent Trap.

Lobby at the Capital Hilton

Lobby at the Capital Hilton

For Herman Cain at the Captial Hilton: Do not (maybe) sexually harass women.

Herman Cain has certainly undergone some fire recently (which may have led to his decision to suspend his campaign). To date, five women have accused him of extramarital advances, ranging from 14-year-long affairs to inappropriate groping. Sharon Bialeck, the first to go public with her sexual harassment accusation, claims that Cain sexually assaulted her when she met with him in Washington, D.C. in 1997 to receive career advice. Bialeck explains that Cain upgraded her room at the Capital Hilton to a “palatial suite” before meeting her for drinks in the lobby. At dinner, she claims Cain put his hand up her skirt and pushed her head towards his crotch; when she rejected his advances, he supposedly replied “You want a job, right?” Some question Bialeck’s credibility – painting her as a fame-and-fortune-hungry single mother (who has filed for bankruptcy twice) – and Cain claims that he had never even see her before her public accusation. So Bialeck may be the one who needs to make a resolution, instead — the verdict’s still out on this one.

The Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel

The Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel

For The Beverly Hills Hotel: Cut guests off when they’ve had too much to drink.

Last Christmas Eve, Lisa Vanderpump (of Real Housewives fame) met with friend and L.A. News reporter Robert Kovacik for a few drinks at the posh Polo Lounge at The Beverly Hills Hotel. But another patron had consumed a few too many drinks and punched Kovacik in the face for no reason — what happened to holiday cheer?! So last month, Kovacik filed a lawsuit against the assailant and The Beverly Hills Hotel because a) you shouldn’t punch someone in the face and b) you shouldn’t over-serve people who are likely to punch someone in the face. According to TMZ, Kovacik is hoping to score some big bucks from the lawsuit. Looks like the mistakes of previous years can come back to haunt (and cost) you.

Freddie Baez/startraksphoto.com

Freddie Baez/startraksphoto.com

For Miley Cyrus at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel: Refrain from announcing to the crowd that you’re a stoner. Especially after you claimed you were just smoking salvia in the bong vid.

Whoops. Last year, Miley Cyrus celebrated her 18th birthday by experimenting with weed salvia. Well, it seems like she got pretty attached to the stuff (and learned nothing from the public backlash after the bong videos surfaced). At her 19th birthday party this year, at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, Miley’s friends surprised her with a Bob Marley cake. Innocent enough. Until Miley commented, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much f*ckin’ weed.” Oh, and there’s a video of that too. Hey, she’s just being Miley.

A Marriott Hotel

A Marriott Hotel

For the Marriott Hotel in Nashville, TN: Protect guests’ privacy.

Back in 2008, stalker David Barrett secretly taped ESPN reporter (and former DWTS contestant) Erin Andrews changing in several hotels, including the Marriott near Vanderbilt University. He was arrested, convicted, and sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison, and now, three years later, Andrews is suing him and the Marriott hotel for invasion of privacy, negligence, and infliction of emotional distress. Her lawsuit claims that the hotel revealed her room number to Barrett over the phone and allowed him to request a room next to hers, where he tampered with the peephole. However, it looks like the Marriott hotel got a jump start on this New Year’s resolution; Marriott director of communications Jeffrey Flaherty claims, “We have made changes to our guest registration policy to further ensure guest privacy.”

Multi-Platinum Rock Star Suite at the Hard Rock Hotel San Diego

Multi-Platinum Rock Star Suite at the Hard Rock Hotel San Diego

For Ashton Kutcher at the Hard Rock Hotel San Diego: Be faithful to your (ex-)wife.

Everyone now knows that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s six-year, May-December marriage is heading to Splitsville. There were numerous cryptic tweets from @mrskutcher pre-divorce announcement and rumor has it that news of Ashton Kutcher’s infidelity (that he never explicitly denied) was the main cause of the break-up. Back in October, 22-year-old Sara Leal told US Weekly that she had a one-time fling with Kutcher — on the night of his sixth wedding anniversary no less — after meeting him at a party at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego. Maybe her New Year’s resolution should be to avoid married men!

Entrance at the Sofitel New York

Entrance at the Sofitel New York

For Dominique Strauss-Kahn at the Sofitel New York: Combine Herman Cain and Ashton Kutcher’s resolutions.

The scandal at the Sofitel, in which housekeeper Nafissatou Diallo claimed that Dominique Strauss-Kahn attempted to rape her and forced her to perform oral sex, dashed the former IMF chief’s plans to run for the French presidency. Though all charges have since been dismissed (the married Strauss-Kahn claimed the encounter was consensual), Strauss-Kahn has now become entangled in yet another hotel scandal. This time, sources have linked him to an alleged prostitution ring operating at luxury hotels in Northern France; he vehemently denies the accusations. We guess Strauss-Kahn has a lot of clearing up, or cleaning up, to do in 2012!

A Hilton Garden Inn hotel

A Hilton Garden Inn hotel

For Hilton Garden Inn in Sonoma County, CA: Go green! (And don’t add on hidden fees)

In August, Rodney Harmon filed a class-action lawsuit against the Hilton Garden Inn in Sonoma, CA…over 75 cents. Harmon claims that a newspaper was left outside of his guest room and thus he assumed it was free (only a small notice on the room card mentioned the charge).  However, Harmon’s lawyer says it isn’t just the hidden fee that his client is suing over. Instead, he argues that providing newspapers for every hotel room is an “offensive waste of precious resources and energy.” Well, he’s got a point there. Go green, Hilton Garden Inn!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Max January 6, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Oh shutup an go make me a sandwhich !

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