Welcome to another edition of WTF Wednesday, where we share some of our craziest snapshots. This week’s photo comes to us from the Custom Hotel in Los Angeles, CA, where the decor is arguably some of the weirdest we’ve ever seen. Avant-garde style makes for great art, but when an the elevator ride back to your room late at night involves a stare down with a man who looks like a deranged stalker, we’re less thrilled with its use in hotel decor. Check out our caption after the jump, then share your own!

Elevators at the Custom Hotel; Los Angeles, CA

“Has anyone ever told you your eyes are hazel? What are you doing later? ”

Share your caption in the comments section below!

Credit: Albert Michael/startraksphoto.com

We carefully curated the perfect (and we mean perfect!) hotel for each aspiring Republican president-to-be, because after last night’s mess of a debate, we bet each of these men are in need of a serious vacation. (And, you know, since we’re a hotel review site, we couldn’t help but indulge.) Check out our ideal (and hilarious) pick for each candidate, then tell us: Where would you send the GOP candidates?

The Candidate: Newt Gingrich
The Hotel: Temptation Resort Spa Cancun, Riviera Maya, Mexico

Pool at the Temptation Resort Spa Cancun; Cancun, Mexico

The Deal: This is an adult-only, topless-optional property that caters to 21 and over, uninhibited guests. (Newt, we know you were born in 1943, so we won’t need to ID you first.) There is never a dull moment at this all-inclusive resort, which features themed swimming pools and nightly risqué live shows. Gingrich, who has been alluded to in two extra-marital affairs and has had 84 ethics charges filed against him, will find a range of entertainment while vacationing here, including provocative games and contests like sexy Temptation Idol karaoke. While the beach area is small and lackluster compared to other resorts (but who cares with all the sexing that’ll be going down?), the shaded sun beds are a nice place to relax and unwind.

The Candidate: Mitt Romney
The Hotel: One & Only Ocean Club, Bahamas

Pool at the One & Only Club; Bahamas

The Deal: The most dapper of the bunch — his hair has been compared to that of Don Draper’s — Mitt Romney needs a sexy place for his good-looking self. And with his 2010 and 2011 tax returns released this week, we learned that the former Massachusetts Governor made a whopping $24 million in the past two years — by not working all that much. Plus, the debate over his returns is still hot thanks to holdings stashed in the Cayman Islands, we figured we’d send Romney somewhere he’d feel was familiar — and luxurious, of course. That’s why we chose the One and Only Ocean Club: Romney can use the Bahamas as a tax shelter, too, and this resort has all the luxury pampering a multi-millionaire could ever want, including a personal butler to cater to his every whim.

The Candidate: Rick Santorum
The Hotel: Couples Swept Away Negril, Jamaica

The Beach at Couples Swept Away Negril; Negril, Jamaica

The Deal: This former Pennsylvania Senator would only retreat to an island where he’d feel safe in his beachwear — and considering that homosexuality is currently illegal in above-mentioned tropical island country, we couldn’t have thought of a better place to send him. Plus, since the resort only allows couples (each person being above the age of 18), we can only assume we’ll find “traditional” relationships at the resort that calls one of Negril‘s best beaches home. Plus, it’s nicer than its nearby counterparts, with modern amenities like a flat-screen TV (to monitor his inevitable loss) and iPod dock (to recharge after replaying Marley all day) along with quality grub and a relatively chill vibe, ideal for licking one’s wounds.

The Candidate: Ron Paul
The Hotel: Casa Velas Hotel Boutique, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Grounds at the Casa Velas Hotel Boutique; Marina Vallarta, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

The Deal: So remember how this libertarian-cum-Republican candidate became obsessed with the idea of a superhighway that ran through Mexico, the U.S. and Canada? Well, if you don’t, it’s cool: Basically, there was an idea to create a 1,200 ft.-wide road within North America. But Ron Paul is convinced the highway is merely a conspiracy theory to resign American sovereignty and become a union with our bordering neighbors. So clearly we had to send Paul to a resort located right through the heart of Mexico, that would obviously have its own exit, considering Puerto Vallarta is one of Mexico’s hottest resort towns. Plus, the Casa Velas is a private, boutique property — perfect for hiding out and being a xenophobe. The all-inclusive policy, however, may scare Paul — could it indicate a monetization union, like our egregious European friends?

RELATED LINKS:

• 5 Presidential Suites
• Hotels of Famous Affairs
• Presidential Hotel History

We all TiVoed Kim Kardashian’s wedding on E! – wait, you didn’t? Oh, um, us neither – and, just a couple of weeks later, read the tabloids announcing that Kim had filed for divorce. But what of those 72 days of magical (or not so magical) marital bliss? How will we ever know what really happened, what led to the demise of this match-made-in-reality-heaven couple? Well have no fear, C-list celebrity junkies, producer Ryan Seacrest has come to the rescue again. Because just two days after the honeymoon, Kim and Kris jetted off to New York City to film the new season of “Kourtney and Kim Take New York,” premiering on E! on November 27^th.

The Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

Over a few months in NYC, camera crews caught everything that went down between Kris and Kim, who shared a luxurious penthouse suite at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel with Kim’s sister Kourtney, and Kourtney’s boyfriend and son. And a lotta the action took place right in their hotel room. Were the close quarters the cause? Or perhaps the hip party scene at the hotel’s bar led one to stray? Whatever happened, we’ll find out soon. But one thing we do know: the Gansevoort Park hotel is where Kris and Kim’s marriage went to die. Check out the scene of the crime below!

Lobby at the Gansevoort Park Avenue

At first, things started off great. In late August, Kim and Kris were seen holding hands and smiling for paparazzi as they moved into their new abode. Kim continually defended her marriage and her hubby amid the rumors and even tweeted “I’m really obsessed with the Gansevoort Hotel in NYC!”

View from a suite at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

And it makes sense she was obsessed. The Kardashian klan was put up in a massive penthouse suite (with a rumored $7,000-a-night pricetag) complete with a fireplace, a jacuzzi, a pool table, and a balcony with amazing views of the city and the Hudson River.

The Street outside of the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

But all wasn’t peachy in the penthouse. The time spent apart was innocent enough…at the beginning. While Kim and Kourtney were spotted heading to the gym, Kris and Scott, Kourtney’s boyfriend and babydaddy, were photographed strolling the streets of New York.

Red Room at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

Soon, however, the sisters began airing their grievances over their partners and several of these snippets appear in the show’s promo. While chatting with Kim about her spouse, Kourtney quips, “He’s gone out every night since we’ve been here.” Maybe the guys had been partying too much at the hip Red Room.

Plunge Bar and Lounge at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

Kris was even spotted getting into a heated argument with Scott at the rooftop Plunge Bar at the hotel. But sources say that Kris wasn’t drinking.

A Suite at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

In a scene in their bedroom, Kim finally confronts Kris about his absence and their lack of communication, exclaiming “Your wife has to find out you’re in a different country on Twitter?” But rumor has it that the two “lovebirds” slept in different rooms for the majority of the filming.

A Suite Bathroom at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

In happier times, Kim had requested that their bathroom be outfitted with K&K monogrammed towels. But in a climatic moment in the promo, Kim stands outside of the bathroom, throwing Kris’s clothes in a heap on the floor while Kris laments “You’re going to end up throwing out everything I own!”

The Entrance at the Gansevoort Park Avenue hotel

It seems like the writing was on the wall. Just 10 days before Kim announced their split, Kris fueled even more divorce rumors by being photographed carrying boxes out of the hotel, sans wedding ring. And we guess all good things must come to an end…

As the Hotel-Tell All, Oyster is very well-traveled when it comes to hotels. We’ve seen it all — whether good or bad. Let it be known: after visiting thousands of hotels, the tiny fees, poor service, and mediocre food starts to get irritating.

11. Valet Charges

No parking? Don’t charge through the roof for valet parking. You know it’s our only choice and makes us bitter.

Valet at The Angler's Boutique Resort

10. The Toilet Flush Demo

We appreciate you showing us how to flush the toilet upon the room check-in tour, but come on! We’ve been able to do that by ourselves for a long time now.

Bathroom in the Plaza King Room at The Plaza

9. The “Complimentary In-Room Treat”

Please don’t provide a “complimentary basket” filled with treats upon room check in, and then secretly charge $3 for the biscuits lying right next to the basket.

The Guestroom at the Halekulani

8. The Resort Fee

We’d love to be provided with an actual definition, explanation, and breakdown of what exactly “The Resort Fee” is. We understand all hotels do it these days, but if all your friends were jumping off of a bridge, would you?

The Fairfax at Embassy Row, Washington, D.C.

7. The Lounge Chair Reserve

When hotels allow guests to save lounge chairs by the pool by putting down a towel at 6 am, it makes other guests feel unworthy. We were under the impression that vacation was a time to relax – just because we’re not in mood for an early-morning-lounge-chair-brawl doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a chair of our own. If you’re not there, you’re not lounging.

Lounge chairs by the pool at Treasure Island

6. Lounge Chair Charges

Speaking of lounge chairs, charging for them and umbrellas is just stingy. We’ll be more likely to give a bigger tip if we’re not forced to pay for an amenity that should come with the hotel.

The Lounge Chairs at The St. Regis Atlanta

5. The $10 Bottle of Water

We know that same bottle costs $1.59 at 7-11. You’re not fooling anybody.

The Chambre Petite Room at the Mansfield Hotel

4. Self-Written Reviews

Listen, we’re Oyster. We know the real reviews from the fake ones. And with this recent New York Times article, you better be careful.

TripAdvisor

3. The Photo Fakeout

We’ve mastered the art of investigating Photo Fakeouts – Oyster’s most popular feature that exposes hotels’ deceiving marketing photos. Heads up: if your main pool is the size of a kiddie pool, no need to angle the camera so the viewers think it’s an Olympic size lap pool. We’ll likely call you out on it.

Oyster's Photo Fakeouts

2. Mini Bars

Where to begin…

Minibar in the Deluxe Room at The Mirage

1. WiFi Charges

Get with the times. It’s like toilet paper and oxygen. Also, if WiFi is provided free of charge, give us a good signal. There is nothing more frustrating than slow or unusable Internet.

The Sivory Grand Suite at the Sivory Punta Cana

Welcome to our first feature of the new series: Top 8 Mancations. We’ll cover the best hotels for different guys’ needs. Yes, girls’ getaways are — well — girly and fun, but guys deserve some quality time to let loose as well.

First up: Husbands who need a break.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re not encouraging men to jump on a plane after every tiff, but don’t we all need a breather sometimes? These hotels accommodate those husbands who are looking for some alone time, party time (appropriate partying, of course), zen time, and more. Hey guys, escape here for some much needed rejuvenation.

The James New York

Treat Yourself: The James New York
Haven’t been away in a while?  If you’ve got some extra dollars to spare, now’s the time to put it to good use. This 114-room SoHo boutique, with a stunning rooftop bar and pool, nightly wine and cheese, restaurant by David Burke, and a hotel art curator, embodies the hip, creative neighborhood it inhabits. Its bright, minimalist rooms are full of thoughtful details to make you feel at home. Treat yourself to luxury, trend, and a happening New York neighborhood for a good dose of relaxation.

Shutters on the Beach, Los Angeles

Chow Down: Los Angeles
LA may be known for its frequent celeb sightings, but while you’re drooling over Mila Kunis and Scarlett Johansson, don’t forget to drool over the top restaurants right at your fingertips. Gordon Ramsey at The London, CUT at the Beverly Wilshire Beverly Hills, and One Pico at Shutters On The Beach are only a few of the top rated dining experiences you can take advantage of while you’re in the city of the stars.

The Setai Miami

Get Bronze: The Setai, Miami
Located on the northern side of South Beach at 20th Street, the Setai’s stretch of beachfront is considerably removed from the crowds. Teak lounge chairs in slate-colored cushions are spread a civilized distance from one another, though any one of the many beach attendants will gladly heave the lounger to the sunny — or shady — spot of your choice. In addition to the standard cocktail and snack services, the Setai also offers free spritzes of Evian water, iPods (to borrow), and fashion magazines.

Westin Princeville Ocean Resort Villas, Hawaii

Perfect Your Swing: Westin Princeville Ocean Resort Villas, Hawaii
If you golf, go all out for this trip. Next to two golf courses, including the Prince, Golf Digest’s No. 1 Hawaii course, Westin Princeville Ocean Resort Villas is the place to stay for golf-lovers. wo well-regarded courses are adjacent to the Westin Princeville. The first, the Prince, has breathtaking views along Princeville’s cliffs. The second, Makai, a 27-hole monster, was renovated in 2009. The Prince Golf Course was designed by Robert Trent Jones Jr. 18 holes, 7,309 yards, par 72, on 390 acres. The golf carts are equipped with GPS systems. The 13-acre practice facility has a 1,200-square-foot putting green and an additional 1,200-square-foot chipping green. PGA-pro private lessons are available.

Encore at Wynn Las Vegas

Party On: Encore at Wynn Las Vegas
This gigantic luxury hotel is focused on great food, gambling, elaborate (and enormous) rooms, and parties throughout the week and weekend. Opened in December 2008, the 2,034-room Encore is about pure opulence; not surreal, family-friendly showmanship. Its giant rooms one-up even the Wynn’s (Encore’s sister next door) and include such snazzy features as bedside curtain control, beautiful design, and an enormous bathroom. The rooms stand toe-to-toe with the Palazzo’s and THEhotel’s as the best in Vegas.

Canyon Ranch Miami

Sweat It Out: Canyon Ranch Miami
This luxurious 70,000 square-foot spa and fitness center will keep you burning calories while having fun. The gym’s rock-climbing wall is a distinctive feature, and floor-to-ceiling windows offer ocean views from dozens of cardio machines. Every day, some 40 free fitness classes are offered throughout the property, from Sunrise Yoga to Beach Conditioning.

St. Regis, San Francisco

Get Zen: The St. Regis San Francisco
The 9,000-square-foot Remede Spa boasts beautiful facilities, an extensive service menu, and a serene 24-hour indoor pool complete with poolside drink and food service. For just $15 a day, all hotel guests can use the whirlpools, steam rooms, and saunas, plus relaxation rooms that serve chocolate truffles and champagne.

Hotel Marlowe, Boston

Take the Pooch: Hotel Marlowe, Boston
The 9,000-square-foot Remede Spa boasts beautiful facilities, an extensive service menu, and a serene 24-hour indoor pool complete with poolside drink and food service. For just $15 a day, all hotel guests can use the whirlpools, steam rooms, and saunas, plus relaxation rooms that serve chocolate truffles and champagne.The enthusiastically pet-friendly Hotel Marlowe, a playful Cambridge property with quality service, an array of free perks, and a “discovery” theme, loves all pets — and we mean all. It has even hosted a penguin and a sloth. More conventional four-legged guests can use the dog bowls with food and water outside the entrance, and their owners can order treats for their beloved pals from room service. Pets stay free of charge, and after five visits they receive a lunchbox full of goodies. The staff orders extra-special pet treats, such as a pet birthday cakes, from their “preferred dog treat shop” Polka Dog Bakery.

You’ll also like

• Most extravagant hotel pet services >>
• The 10 sexiest hotel spas >>
• Miami’s best hotel gyms >>

If you’re pregnant and looking for a parking spot, head to Punta Cana Resort & Club for some VIP parking rights. If you’re looking for a private, romantic night in your hotel room, just hang the “Fuhgettaboudit” sign on your door knob at Le Parker Meridien in New York. Whether intentional or not, these hotel signs hit the funny bone.

See this feature on Huffington Post >>

Parking at the Punta Cana Resort & Club

I’m pregnant. I’m cranky. Get out of my parking spot.

Punta Cana Resort and Club

The Superior Double Room at the Le Parker Meridien

Just turn around and walk away.

Le Parker Meridien New York

Balcony at The Ocean View Guestroom with Balcony Room at the Marriott South Beach

Hey, before we go out on the balcony, watch out for any hidden unattendeds!

Marriott South Beach

Pool at The Manhattan at Times Square Hotel

Uh, English please. No peeing, pooping, spitting, or snot. Thanks.

The Manhattan at Times Square New York

The One Bedroom Suite at the Embassy Suites Convention Center Las Vegas

Enough said.

Embassy Suites Convention Center, Las Vegas

The One Bedroom Oceanfront Suite at the Newport Beachside Hotel and Resort

Since when are moisture and mildew “dangerous”? We’ll be sure to thoroughly prepare for any unexpected moisture and mildew attacks through that door.

Newport Beachside Hotel and Resort, Miami

Club Bathroom in the Soho House

Keep it classy, people. They mean it.

Soho House New York

The One Bedroom Suite at the Sunset Tower Hotel

If you’re reading this, you’re already too close. Do us all a favor and go back the way you came.

Sunset Tower Hotel, Los Angeles

Twitter

The comedienne tweeted: In my hotel room & @Tiffanyrinehart yells “window washers! Window washers!!”

Griffin also tweeted the above photo of herself in a black bra and underwear, entertaining the lucky window washer.

It’s beach season! Who doesn’t love a day in the sun, lying out in the sand and playing in the ocean waves? The only thing that makes it better is getting lost in a juicy page-turner. And new research finds that reading makes us happier. Reason is, we get attached to the characters and feel a genuine connection to them. A book is no replacement for real-life friends, of course, but it can expand your horizons and let you get lost into a rich fantasy world. And that’s exactly the kind of escape you want on a lazy beach day.

To make your beach reading experience a social one, try what my family does and read as a group. Bring a few novels on vacation, then pass them around so you can all be on the same page and discuss them together. Instant book group! I’m currently loving Piper Kerman’s gripping memoir, Orange is the New Black: My Year in Women’s Prison and Jennifer Egan’s gorgeous Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, A Visit from the Good Squad.

Don’t know which book to stash in your beach bag? Our Facebook friends from SELF couldn’t put down these hot picks. Oyster helps you pick where to read them.

To really embrace the summer feeling
Read:

• Summer Sisters, by Judy Blume
• Summer Rental, by Mary Kay Andrews
• The Island, by Erin Hilderbrand

The Setai, Miami

For a good laugh from your favorite celeb
Read:

• Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, by Chelsea Handler
• Bossypants, by Tina Fey
• Stories I Only Tell my Friends, by Rob Lowe

Where: Aruba Marriott Resort & Stellaris Casino, Aruba
Clear water, plenty of chairs, and excellent people-watching opportunities. The broad, white-sand beach reminds us of Miami, only the water is even clearer. With plenty of chairs and a constant parade of tan flesh, you can kick back, read, and laugh to your heart’s content.

Aruba Marriott Resort

More from SELF

• Sign Up for SELF’s Lose 8 Pounds Plan and You Could Win $1,000 at Zappos.com!
• Superfoods for Flat Abs
• Find The Best Workout For You with SELF’s New Workout Finder!

For a deep, gripping story
Read: 

• Cutting for Stone, by Abraham Verghese
• The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls
• My Hollywood, by Mona Simpson

Half Moon, Jamaica

For a fun, delightful read
Read: 

• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
• Nicholas Sparks’ novels

Loews Santa Monica, LA

Cold summertime cocktails. So hot right now. We’re visiting the best, trendiest hotel bars to find you the tastiest summer cocktails in NYC. Not only have we got the photos, we’ve got the recipes — directly from the bartenders — so you can make them at home. Grab your martini glass and hit the deck, you’re having a cocktail party.

Last week it was Jimmy at The James, New York. This week, we’ve got Rare View Rooftop at Hilton New York Fashion District Hotel.

DRINK #1: Melon Mash

Melon Mash

Ingredients

• 1 ½ oz Bacardi Rum
• ½ oz Triple Sec
• ¾ oz Watermelon Juice
• Splash of each Fresh Lime Juice & Simple Syrup

To make
Shake and strain serve in a martini glass.

DRINK #2: Swing Du Paris

Swing Du Paris

Ingredients

• 1 ½ oz Absolut Ruby Red
• ½ oz Triple Sec
• ¾ oz Grapefruit Juice
• Splash of lime juice
• 2 slices of jalapeno
• 10 leaves of cilantro

To make
Muddle, strain and serve in a martini glass.

DRINK #3: RARE Fashion

RARE Fashion

Ingredients

• 2oz Hendrick’s Gin
• ¾ oz simple syrup
• 4 slices each of green apples & cucumbers
• Splash of lime juice

To make
Muddle, strain and serve in a glass on ice.

DRINK #4: Fashionista

Fashionista

Ingredients

• 1 ½ oz Bacardi Rum
• ½ oz Triple Sec
• ¾ oz Lychee Puree
• ¼ oz Passion Fruit Puree
• Splash each of Lime juice & simple syrup

To make
Shake, strain and serve in a martini glass.

DRINK #5: The Runway

The Runway

Ingredients

• 2 oz Absolut
• ¾ oz Triple Sec
• ¾ oz Strawberry Puree
• ½ oz each of Fresh Lime Juice & Simple Syrup
• 4 Leaves Fresh Mint

To make
Bruise mint, shake, strain and serve in a glass on ice.

A keyboard wall at The James Hotel in New York.

The James Hotel, New York